Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who has the biggest dick of all? I’m a Eurasian female. (I know some people view gender and sex as a fluid concept, so just to spell it out, I do not have one of those appendages). Yet people still make Asian small dick […]

More generally, for me the Anglo-Saxon obsession with phallus size is rather amusing, eccentric, and it makes me laugh because it is so silly. I don’t know or care which group, if any, has the biggest dick of them all but in any event, science doesn’t seem to support any variation in size between races. Even if there is any average variation, we must be talking about μm or mm, so I still don’t see what the fuss is about. No decent human beings give a flying fuck about dick size. Is this ‘largeness’ referring to length or girth? To those guys who humblebrag about their ‘9 incher’ before you know anything else about them, are you referring to a 9-inch pencil or 9-inch sausage? Nobody who understands biology properly places any significance on cock size. Even if on average, some populations have marginally longer (by a few mm/μm) penises, does that really change anything or mean anything from a practical matter? No and no. I don’t care who, if anyone, has a bigger doodah than somebody else.

Nevertheless, just because I find this cultural obsession with phallus size amusing and stupid, and just because I am a woman, and just because I don’t have one myself, it does not mean I find ‘small dick’ ‘jokes’ within the context of Eurasian/Asian men amusing or harmless. The important issue is not who has or does not have the biggest wiener of them all, or whatever averages and statistics may or may not show about miniscule variations in mm/μm. Despite my view that it’s irrelevant, I still violently disagree with ‘small dick’ jokes when they are made against Eurasian/Asian men. Look, I don’t want to look for offence in every little irrelevant thing or every meaningless comment. I don’t want to claim vicarious victimhood. I don’t want to jump into ‘Boys’ Talk’ when I don’t belong there. But this dick thing isn’t some innocent acontextual comment. Because within the Eurasian and Asian male context, ‘small dick’ ‘jokes’ are always made with the explicit intention of humiliating, emasculating, and dehumanising Eurasian and Asian men, and such remarks are often made by monoracial Asian women (yes, you read that correctly), and by individuals in ‘protected’ minority categories.

Some guys (of all races, but almost always from other ethnic minority groups) think it is funny to tell me ‘jokes’ about Asian and Eurasian men having small dicks. They casually slip these ‘jokes’ into normal conversation and then look at me, smiling in a friendly manner as if we are watching Sesame Street, or in a flirtatious way as if making fun of ‘small dick’ is some smooth chat-up line, and regard me with an expectant stare (like a Pavlovian dog waiting for a pat on the head), showing how pleased they are with themselves for making some reference to East Asian and Eurasian small dick to a Eurasian woman. Seriously dude, what reaction are you looking for here? Ho-ho-ho? I decided to cut out every single person in my life who had ever made a ‘small dick’ ‘joke’ to me. No matter how ‘important’ they are, no matter how many other fun times we shared. Which unfortunately, was a lot of people. Sounds draconian, but why would I want to maintain any connection with people who think it is acceptable to make jokes about Asian and Eurasian small dick to a Eurasian woman in professional and social contexts? Who thinks it’s acceptable to mock my brothers? What is funny (and unfortunately not in a haha way), is I do this as a half-Asian woman, when many full Asian women (and some men) would agree and join in with the ‘joke’.