Two Things to Have a Happy Life as a Minority

Two Things to Have a Happy Life as a Minority

It’s tough being an immigrant overseas, but if you can get a handle on two things, life will be pretty good. #1 Partner; #2 Money. Finding a Partner: The dating market is brutal for asian men, but you only need to find one. Who you marry is probably the […]

Finding a Partner: The dating market is brutal for asian men, but you only need to find one. Who you marry is probably the most important decision you will make in your life. This is the person you will spend the rest of your life with. They will influence your thinking and your life choices more than anyone else. More than your parents, more than your friends, more than even your kids. How high you rise or how far you fall will largely depend on your partner. No other choice will have as many lasting consequences. You might do something stupid and break a leg, or screw up an interview, or have a failed business, but all of that you can recover from. But a divorce with children will last for the rest of your life (unless god forbid your children die before you).

I am appalled at some of the statements saying that a guy will marry a white girl just to get back at white society. Don’t fuck up your life thinking you’re spiting society. Pick happiness.

Your partner should be someone who shares your values and reflects those values in her actions. A good judge of character of a daughter is to look at her mom, and also how her mom and dad interact. (I think guys are a lot more random, and for girls here, I don’t know of a good way to judge a man’s character, especially because men tend to develop later so it’s harder to predict how they’ll turn out.) One of the values I was looking for was a girl who was proud to be asian. I kind of lucked into that. Only when I started dating her did I realize she was very pro-Chinese, which I think stemmed from her being very close to her family and her family being very pro-Chinese.

Also obviously important in finding a partner are her objective qualities. Is she pretty, healthy, etc. Does she work hard, can she suffer hardship. Has she had a lot of partners before. The two biggest marriage killers are money and infidelity. Money: If she’s on the fast-track to nowhere and has racked up huge credit card debt, stay away. I personally want to eventually make enough money so that my wife can be a stay-at-home mom with our kids, but in today’s world most families need two incomes, so you have to consider what she does. And if she’s not disciplined in spending, no matter how much you make it’s not going to be enough. Infidelity: I’m going to get a lot of flak for this, but from my experience and the research, the less number of partners a girl has, the less likely she is to cheat or ask for a divorce. As I said before, also look at a girl’s mom and her mom-dad interaction.

Also obviously important in finding a partner are her objective qualities. Is she pretty, healthy, etc. Does she work hard, can she suffer hardship. Has she had a lot of partners before. The two biggest marriage killers are money and infidelity. Money: If she’s on the fast-track to nowhere and has racked up huge credit card debt, stay away. I personally want to eventually make enough money so that my wife can be a stay-at-home mom with our kids, but in today’s world most families need two incomes, so you have to consider what she does. And if she’s not disciplined in spending, no matter how much you make it’s not going to be enough. Infidelity: I’m going to get a lot of flak for this, but from my experience and the research, the less number of partners a girl has, the less likely she is to cheat or ask for a divorce. As I said before, also look at a girl’s mom and her mom-dad interaction.

How to find a good girl: There’s a lot of good and bad material out there on how to attract girls and how to find girls, so I’m not going to try to summarize it, but i’ll add a few high-level pointers. It’s better to start looking early, like even in college. I know you want to live it up, but the good girls go fast. Lots of the A+ girls are in long-term relationships from college or even highschool and then get married. It’s not a bad thing to get locked down early in a long-term relationship or marriage. I have not seen any guys in happy marriages wish they would have sowed their wild oats more when they were younger, but that’s just anecdotal.

Don’t settle: There are a lot of amazing girls out there. I was surprised to find out how many of my wife’s female asian friends have never had boyfriends, and it’s not because there is anything wrong with them or they’re super picky. Once you’re at the top, there’s a lot less than guys than girls. There are many hot, smart, sweet girls that are looking for a boyfriend, but can’t find one cause a lot of the top guys are already snatched up.

Conclusion on Girls: Once you have a great girl by your side, that’s like 50% of your relationship bandwith. Your friends and parents make up the other 50%, at least until kids come around.

Making Money: If you have money, you don’t have to deal with any crap in the world. Money is the ultimate freedom. There’s all this bs about how money has diminishing returns. It’s not true. http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/05/10/money-does-buy-happiness-says-new-study/#52c91d1140b5. The pop-culture conclusion is that happiness has diminishing returns after $75k. They define happiness as the short-term emotions we feel day-to-day. That’s not happiness. No one is on cloud 9 every minute of every day. But happy people at the end of the day are satisfied with their life, while sad people medicate in front of a TV or with drugs to get shots of happiness. What they fail to mention is that “life satisfaction” continues to increase. 100% of people who make $500,000 or more are satisfied with their life. Don’t hate the players, become one of the players.

Our parents were right, the best way out of poverty is education, provided that you’re learning valuable skills and becoming a professional. If you’re a doctor, lawyer, engineer, accountant, etc. People might discriminate against you because you’re asian, but they need your skills and your rate is set by the market.

The best way to make BIG money is to start your own business. Again, a lot of good and bad material out there so I won’t summarize it, but one point I wanted to make based on my friends attempts. There is too much focus on trying to have a ground breaking idea. These businesses will generate you billions of dollars if you’re successful, but because of that will also be infinitely harder than most small businesses. You’ll also have to not only sell to the consumer, but to venture capitalists. The safest way to start your own business is to spend a couple years learning your industry, pick a tried-and-true way to make money in your industry, then with some capital built up, try to out-hustle or with a slight innovation try to break into the market.

Conclusion: Money and bitches. Once you have both, no one can touch you. Enjoy life.